Run Down Memory Lane

Friday. We both woke up early this morning. But the morning didn't start up the way we both wanted it. I just told him exactly how i am feeling about all the changes I am seeing after his transfer to Batangas. How I felt so less important to him. I told him that he changed a lot, how he's no longer excited to talk to me. No longer eager to tell me stories of his days.. He no longer wants to send me his photos unlike before.. How I am missing the old ways.. He got mad and a bit furious about the issue. Needed to call him to pacify the rage. His voice was really mad and I can feel it too. I said I am sorry for telling him that., He was almost shouting on a high pitch note. First time to hear him that way.. But then, he was calm right before ending the call. Napikon lang din talaga sya. The rest of the day was a busy day for him. Some officials arrived from other stations. It's ok. I was a bit busy with office works too. Got a lot to do to finish the transmittal of ITRs. Went ...

Thursday. Was woke up by Jul'z messages and calls, as early as 4 in the morning. They are on their way to Manila to get their BDA's. Was still groggy and sleepy, but the thought of him thinking about me felt a bit loved. Head on to work early.. Julz passed by their home for breakfast with his troops, before heading back to Batangas. Had some small argument about "baka libog lang yan, hun" that irked me so early in the morning. But eventually we ended up agreeing that that will no longer be mentioned when punching jokes..

Wednesday. Brown out last night.. The vc was cut just right before midnight.. I was too tired and sleepy to inform Julz about it and wasn't able to call back.. I hate Paleco!! On the way to the office my scooter died on me.. Had to ask tatay for some rescue on the road.. Same as yesterday still. Worked my ass off just not to think about how I am missing him so bad. But then, I was able to send him the message thru my messages. I told him that he's a bit changing. No longer sweet and no longer eager to talk to me. He was a bit confused with what I said, because for him nothing's changed.. We talked after reading..

Tuesday. I just feel so tired. Monthly period sucks. With all the mood swings. Julz was then again busy the whole day, that made me sulk about the situation. I felt I was like being left behind. Jealous of the wife being prioritized all the time. That fucking feeling about being the other woman, being the 2nd option. I know.. I know it's my fault. I am the one to blame choosing to love him despite the situation.. All day was a gloomy one. Tried making myself busy, to not think about being ignored by the boyfriend. But paranoia sucked into me. I can't bear the thought of him not minding me. I am not used to this kind of attention lacking from him.. this sucks! We talked the night through.. Was actually a bit happy that we're on vc now. Office: Bought 3 kilos of meat supply for the fam..worth 900. :D Dildo arrived. hahaha

Monday. Woke up by Julz messages. He's on his way to Batangas. His new assignment. Somewhat happy knowing that we will be talking again. Fast forward.. He's too busy about the moving-in thing. Sent me some video clips over the weekend.. Funny thing about th "vlogging" stint he said. He's tired.. I know.. I just let him be. Although I super duper missed him..

Sunday. Woke up around 9. Had breakfast with the kids. Started reading around almost 11. I just can't help myself thinking about Julz. No matter how hard I try not to. I just can't. I misses him every seconds of every day. Sometime I wonder if he is really being true to me or just playing around with my feelings. You can never tell, only time if he's really true and not playing games. He is in fact have a great impact on my life now. He inspires me to be the best that I am today. He's my driving force. Really. I just don't know where we'll be heading to, given the fact of our situation. But I myself knows that I wanted US to last until our dying days. I want to shower him all the love that I have, if and only if God will permit us.. Kids are back in the house to sleep the night through. Maybe for the next coming days. I am all good after all!

Saturday. Woke up with a heavy heart missing Julz. But somewhat decided to carry on with the day thinking about him less. Started reading Labor Law. Watching lectures from atty. Duka. Instructed the eldest to clean up the house. The CR and her room turned closet. :) But eventually ended up cleaning too. Went out to get the phone batteries changed (5s ans 7). Read the night through..

Friday. Glorious as it was. I slept almost 2 in the morning today. Julius is such a naughty lover. I was able to do the thing we wanted me to do. But the success wasn't that 100%. We weren't able to satisfy our lustful desire of reaching the climax as we do the cyber sex thing. :D But still, slept with a happy heart and mind. Woke up around 6am with his messages. I was dead tired and sleepy still, but somewhat feeling so inlove with him. He sent me a screencapture of our call, that actually lasted for more than 5 hours. I have this sense of feeling secured with his love. The idea of keeping the audio call on all through the night made me feel he's sleeping just beside me.. hearing him breathe and snore it's as if we're together. although of course he's not around. I just miss the idea of him hugging me tight all through out the night. Surrounded by his strong loving arms. He's the first and the only man who did that to me.. And I am praying that he'll be...

Thursday. I woke up late. Due to the fact that Julius woke me up at wee hours just to say sorry about him sleeping on me without saying good night.. We're supposed to have a "pipino thing" last night but to no avail. :D Had to work despite lacking of sleep. I need to be at the PACD. Julz had a busy day, there's this party thing later at their place, in lieu with some of them transferring to other posts, including him. I really don't know what's with him that got me so hook and so inlove. The fact that he is way too far from the physical features of what turns me on on a guy. Not so Iranian looking guy. No beard at all! hahaha oh well.. You can really never tell what the future holds for you.. still I am so thrilled having him as my better half.. Another day was done at the office. Halfway through the ITR Transmittal. But no need to rush. Went home early. Made some DIY kimchi for I am craving so much of it! Although Julius was not into that kind of stuff. haha ...

Wednesday. I took my day off. Woke up late. Still sleepy. But the feeling was so great that it doesn't matter having a lack of sleep. talked to julz over video call. i just loved the idea of him being so clingy and super sweet! read books.. video call most of the morning with Julz. he just informed me that there's someone from their unit/office covid19 positive.. fearing that there might be others too.. he also informed me that by Monday he'll be reporting in Batangas.. (Awww that somehow made me sad).. But what else can I do.. Oh well.. He's a bit kinky today.. Wanting to try something new regarding the intimate thing we do.. He's enjoying the idea of the kids not sleeping with me.. :p

Tuesday. Nothing special about this day. Got a morning call from Julz. Making up for the lost time yesterday., I know I love him that much and that every little thing he does to me is simply magic. Went to office early. Had breakfast. Started encoding the transmittal of ITRs for 2019. Julz was kind of busy with his office stuffs too. But he never missed texting/chatting me. Making sure I took my meds. Office people were so excited about having our new ARDO. From Legaspi. A lawyer, just my age. WOW! as in wow! (People thought he's gay).. Oh well.. nothing to much to tell this day. Just a regular office day. Went home earlier than expected. Planning to make Kimchi, but no available Korean chili powder. Video calling ang peg ni Julz.. So there, we talked like for an hour while he was doing some walking/running. informed me that he'll be sleeping early so that we can talk again later tonight.. fast forward to past dinner time. he informed me that his roommates will have some drinki...

Monday. Not feeling so well. I think I am going to have a flu. Rainy days are here again. Julz got back to the office as early as 8 or before that. SO got the messages early.. I don't feel like talking to him. I am a bit frustrated how things are turning out when it's weekends.

Sunday. Our 3rd month as boyfriend-girlfriend. No messages whatsoever from him. Again, I expected too much from him. Ended up frustrated. Oh well. That's what you get being the mistress. Least of his priority. :(

Saturday. Woke up with a headache and sore throat. Practically not feeling so well. Slept the whole day through. Had massage late in the evening..

Friday. Woke up early by Julz' good morning messages. Started the day chatting with him. He's about to do a morning jog after telling me can no longer sleep after waking up by 4am. I am just glad that he feels better now and no longer mad at me from yesterday's issue. Damn I missed him so bad! Went early to the office. I am sitting-in for cashier (Caressa's Day off). A bit chill, was able to insert reading while working. The office were too cold this day. With heavy rain outside. We're all on ears for the news, waiting for all the updates about Covid positive cases in the city. It's gonna be a long weekend for me, Julz will be going home later today. Sadness. But heck, whatever will be will be..

Thursday. Went early to the office. Excited for the rest of the day. Julz will be back at the office and we'll talk to each other again.. While having breakfast, was so surprised that he went back earlier than expected. A bit disappointed due to the fact that I had coffee with Jaylord. I was hoping a different scenario actually. A sweeter, kinkier one with him. Having the fact that I missed him so bad. Well I guess it just ruined his day. All the frustrations and just hated the fact that I did what I said I wouldn't. I can feel how mad he is today. I can sensed that he doesn't want to talk to me. I feel so awful and nothing I can offer him that would make him feel better. I feel bad about this. I feel how hurt he is. I just cried each time. Went to the comfort room  to just let the tears flow. I don't want him to feel this bad, for real. It's as if I am hurting myself too. Trying to calm things down, but it doesn't work that way. Trying to talk to him by texting...

Wednesday. Back to work. Surprised call from Julz, using his own personal (legal) number I guess. Half of the day we talked. Him informing me his whereabouts this day. Told me that he took his kid around the block of their subdivision and taught how to ride a bicycle.. Informed me that his colleagues will be having a gathering at his abode. Oh well. Boys will be boys. That effort somehow made my day.. Smiling all through out. Good light feeling. I felt loved. Mattered in a way for him.. I guess.. hahaha Met up with Jay at Itoy's. Had some coffee as we chithchat for a while. He needs to have the ATP prior the expiration. So happy knowing that he's all ok now. Flying to cali soon, once covid is over.. (to be with the gf!) Went home and can't sleep still, had the last beer can on the fridge.. :)

Tuesday. Started the day with a sweet message as always from Julz.  No work for me today. A holiday in the province of palawan.  The day was filled with fond thoughts with Julz. All those kinky stuffs and ideas. I think this kind of conversations with him will help us pull through the long distance relationship. keeping the love and lust alive, despite the distance. He went outside with his troupes looking for some car. Somebody wanting to buy I  guess. Eventually, later he informed me that he'll be going home to fix something, i really don't know. He called prior leaving. Oh well.. sleeping early after review tonight..

Monday. Woke up with a heavy heart. Too much expectation can lead to frustration and disappointments. I hate myself for being so weak like this. I am not like this. I don't get hurt this way before. I really don't. Went to the office early time possible. Got do many works to do. As much as I wanted not to think about Julz, I can't. Lahat na ata ng tampo ko naipon na. It is painful to think that I don't even matter to him. I get it, he's just protecting himself, not to get caught having me. Frustrating that I was actually expecting an early morning sweet message from him, but to no avail. Just had breakfast with the gang at the pantry, with Cris making fun out of Nancy.. Had to stay here for a while to keep myself calm and sane. Had a lot of stuffs to do. Came 9 or so when Julz sent a message. I still feel sulking. Deeply. But I don't have the pride/ego over him. I just love the guy so much. I just felt so sad about the fact that he doesn't missed me. Caught ...

Sunday. Father's day. No communication since yesterday morning. I do not know how to feel or what to react knowing that this is going to be on a regular basis. Having the fact that I just the other woman I can only do is wait for him to be available for me. That hurts of course, but it is the choice I made long before we get to be serious about our relationship.. I just read/watched lectures from the review center. Half of the day just sleep through to get away with the sad thoughts of my situation. Ordered some food online for the family, since it is Father's Day. Bought some Palabok and Lechong Kawali for lunch. I am trying my best not to be so sad this day. Slept most of the day. I can't help myself I cried a few times. I was so disappointed, for I expected too much out of his words. I relied on what he said, that he'll call if there will be chances.. (BUT NONE!).. No time to think about me when he's home. I GOT THAT. Sleeping early tonight. I don't want to t...

Friday. The usual thing. Woke up by the messages I got from Julz. Damn I missed him so much! I was so busy the whole day that I missed few of his phone calls. So toxic about work,but was able to take a nap for half an hour. Dealing with so many tasks. Went home after office, trying to have some rest, until some post to facebook triggered some issues with him. It was just about some throwback quotes I shared that really irked the manly ego. I don't know how to react on his outburst. But I got his point. Hence the deletion.. I don't want to make an issue of the thing of the past. I don't want him to worry about anything pertaining to anyone from my past. We had a  a talk over the phone and he explained himself regarding the issue. It was already settled. I was informed that he'll be going home early the next day. I wasn't so happy about that idea. But the heck, it was part of the agreement. I just can't get through it now. Sadness is real. All the fears are alive ...

Thursday. Went to office early morning. Work as if nothing happened. Like there's no memo of the issues from yesterday. Had to do work for the transmittal of all ITR submitted.

Wednesday. Woke up early to catch the beautiful sunrise. But I failed. Sun was up already around 6 in the morning.  Still hoping to see some message on the phone from Julz, but to no avail. It hurts knowing that there were no messages. Had breakfast by 7 in the morning. Talking with Aki and Muzz about the issue at the office regarding the memo on being late and absent and yet logged on time sheets. Finally a message from Julz received. Damn, I missed him so much! I don't care if he doesn't feel the same way as I am. I am nothing but happy hearing from him. He just informed me that he's back to their office, he's subject for rapid testing.

Tuesday. Travel to EL NIDO with Aki and Muzzamil.  It was a tiring day.. Short and simple. Missing Julz so bad. BUt what would you expect. He's with his family.. I can never be in the picture given the fact that I am just the side chick, the other woman. Oh well.. I don't know how far this thing will work. All I am hoping and praying is that it would last a lifetime. I hate myself for this kind of situation. I know I deserved something better than this. BUT reality is, it is just HIM I wanted. JUST HIM. Late in the afternoon, we went to sea Vanilla beach to watch the sun as it sets. 

Monday. Woke up by the notification sound of my phone. It was messages from Julius. They just docked at Coron. Got signal there and we were able to chat/text and talk. All the lovely messages from him make me feel at ease a little. Me wanting him more!

Dearest Julius, You're just the right amount of everything.  You're the right amount of sweetness that gives me a sugar rush but doesn't make me sick. The right amount of alcohol that gets me tipsy but never wasted. The right amount of sun that keeps me warm but doesn't burn my skin.  You're just the perfect amount of gravity that  keeps this world in an orbit.  And that, I think, is why I know for certain that this love is right. Everything just falls right into place. With you, the world is never too much and never too less.  Sunday.       Here's the final day. He's about to depart. I just can't stop myself crying the whole day at my room. Thinking only about him. I know for sure this is going to be the hardest part of being in a relationship with Julius. I can't stand the long distance.. But I am willing to work things out with him. I know how happy he was leaving Palawan, finally after all the hassles and issues of COVID19. I am half-hearted h...

Saturday. Left home early so that I can spend more time with Julius. This is gonna be the last day with him before he leaves for Manila. Brought him some food for breakfast. But of course prior to having breakfast, I got served of what I am wanting :) Another round of steamy, rockin' love making with him. The way he thrusts his tool inside me really turns me on. My love juice just can't stop from flowing and he seems like enjoying it much! I love the way he whispers in to my ears how wet I am and that he's really loving it when I am having a muscle control. :) I am gone crazy, with all the moans and whispers as my body shiver and chill as I reach the glorious state of orgasm. As usual, a multiple one! Anyways, after that moment, I was actually having a good time giving him some blow and hand jobs, when he started getting calls in connection to his trip/travel requirements.  We had breakfast and he decided to fix the issues. Dropped me off the office and he headed off.  A fe...

Friday. Independence Day. As planned, Julius will be coming over to Puerto in preparation for his departure for Manila on the 13th. He asked me if I can cook for him some chicken adobo. AND I said yes of course.

Thursday. Reported early at the office. Updating the journal while I wait for our breakfast. Trying to think of what had happened in the last couple of weeks with Julius. Thinking.. About Julz.. Coffee first..  Had breakfast with the gang. All the joking around about me being in a relationship. It was a bit fun having meals with a bunch of happy people. A good way to start off your day. My Meal Buddies Out ulam! Julz called. And we talked. Can't help it, there are lapses within the day that I felt so much sadness knowing for a fact that we might not see each other again, until he returned here. He'll be leaving for Manila over the weekend. I really don't know if we will meet prior his travel. It's been raining hard this morning, and I am feeling so down. Just finished editing the TOR for our office transfer and nothing more to do.  What kept me sane this day was the exchanges of messages with Julz. A lot of photos exchanges and some of out kinky conversations, about how...

Wednesday. Not feeling so well today. 1st day of menstruation. Decided not to go to work and just simply have some rest. Feeling so down. I know Julz will be leaving soon. Cuddle and some bonding with my girls somehow lessen the sadness.. Was able to put snake plants to vases and found a lot of old stuffs to be used as pots. Lazy day it is. Just talked to Julz over messenger and text. Talked about almost everything. Some purely about the things we did together from the previous meet ups, overnights and everything.    Feeling loved by him. Thankful for all the efforts he making. He's trying to reach out also with the first born by sharing/lending some books for the latter. I just hope this is not short-lived. For I don't want to share frustrations with my kid if ever Julz and I won't work out.  Sadness is inevitable, knowing that he's packing his things for the fast approaching trip back home. I just can't help it but cry a little. I'll be missing my better half....