June 25, 2020

Thursday.

Went early to the office. Excited for the rest of the day. Julz will be back at the office and we'll talk to each other again..

While having breakfast, was so surprised that he went back earlier than expected. A bit disappointed due to the fact that I had coffee with Jaylord. I was hoping a different scenario actually. A sweeter, kinkier one with him. Having the fact that I missed him so bad.

Well I guess it just ruined his day. All the frustrations and just hated the fact that I did what I said I wouldn't. I can feel how mad he is today. I can sensed that he doesn't want to talk to me. I feel so awful and nothing I can offer him that would make him feel better.

I feel bad about this. I feel how hurt he is. I just cried each time. Went to the comfort room  to just let the tears flow. I don't want him to feel this bad, for real. It's as if I am hurting myself too.

Trying to calm things down, but it doesn't work that way. Trying to talk to him by texting and chatting, but I can sensed how furious he was with me.

I am trying to explain that it's really not an issue, or shouldn't be an issue meeting up with Jay, for it wasn't planned and not purely intended, it so happened that Jay needed to give me the documents needed for his atp application at the office.

Talked to someone from the office about the situation (not stating that it was me), and she pointed out that what if I were in the position of the guy, what would I feel. OK. POINTS TAKEN. It was my fault..

Went home with a heavy heart, knowing that he was still sulking about the incident. Damn it I missed being kinky with Julz, but I just can't, i think he is still mad at me..

Continued talking to him.. Eventually a messenger call. We talked. Clear up things. He's really hurt with what happened.  And carried that kind of feeling the whole day through.. I feel so sorry about that. Not gonna happen again.

Learned that I should have called him earlier, to lessen whatever he feels.