As planned, Julius will be coming over to Puerto in preparation for his departure for Manila on the 13th. He asked me if I can cook for him some chicken adobo. AND I said yes of course.
It's been more than half a year that Julz have no love/affection in the way he talks to me. Damn it.. I feel so low and insignificant. Pinili ko naman tong situation na to. Ginusto ko sya. None other. SO I just have lo live with it. Live with the fact that the person I truly love and care, doesn't feel the same way as I am. To be honest, there are some men hitting on me, blatantly telling me and showing me they like me, they are interested in me. Pero di ko makuhang magustuhan or maging interesado sa kanila. Sarado utak ko. Si Julius lang ang gusto ko.. Paninindigan ko desisyon ko kahit alam kong wala na akong mapapala from Julius. Hindi na rin sya interesado sexually sa akin.. Ang lungkot dba?!
Friday. A holiday. No work. Woke up late.. Heavy heart still. I feel like the worse day ever. Not knowing when will I be able to talk to Julz. Not knowing what's his status. I really don't care what's the situation with his other half. All I am wanting to know is his status. If he's just ok. Friends chatting and planing of having a coffee session at home. I need to do some groceries to buy stuffs for tomorrow's trip to Sabang. 2PM raining hard when we picked up Karen at her house. Went home. Waited for others to arrived. Lotsa chikkas with the girls.. 6PM when the boys arrived. Brought some beers and food for pulutan. Had some great laughs and lots of stories to tell. Reminiscing the past.. Had some quite good day, despite the feeling of sadness missing my man..
Wednesday. Not a good day. Julz have to go home to cater to his wife's needs. The wife just got positive resulf from covid swabbing. I just can't think properly now. Now knowing what to write. Julz told me not to worry about it. But how can I not? He'll be out of reach for i dont know how long. Cried. Fears sulking in. I just hope this will not terminate our relationship. Might be seeing him mid August or might not anymore.. Sad life! Decided to have a long drive with Tatay after office..
Comments
Post a Comment