July 10, 2020

Friday.

We both woke up early this morning.

But the morning didn't start up the way we both wanted it.

I just told him exactly how i am feeling about all the changes I am seeing after his transfer to Batangas. How I felt so less important to him.

I told him that he changed a lot, how he's no longer excited to talk to me. No longer eager to tell me stories of his days.. He no longer wants to send me his photos unlike before.. How I am missing the old ways..

He got mad and a bit furious about the issue. Needed to call him to pacify the rage. His voice was really mad and I can feel it too. I said I am sorry for telling him that., He was almost shouting on a high pitch note. First time to hear him that way..

But then, he was calm right before ending the call. Napikon lang din talaga sya.

The rest of the day was a busy day for him. Some officials arrived from other stations. It's ok. I was a bit busy with office works too. Got a lot to do to finish the transmittal of ITRs.

Went home tired. But was able to finish reading a few hours. Julz isn't going home this day. Somewhat a little relieved knowing that I still can talk to him until late night tonight.

I received message from Madel and Loki. Regarding issues from the past. Somebody bothered to message the former saying some malicious information about me and the latter. I really don't care that much about it, but it sunk to me the scandal it might cause me. But heck, I don't give that a fuck.. It's the thing of the past..

I told this to Julz also. I feel that he needs to know about the issue. I just don't want to ruin what we have right now just because of the rotten past I had. What we have is what really matters now..

Ended the night with a video and phone call from him. We talked about what happened earlier today. He explained himself in a way that I was able to understand. I am way too demanding about everything that I forgot what he told me months prior to this.

We are both adjusting to this kind of situation. He just simply said that he loves me, not because he'll get something from me. He just loves me. He even said that if he just wants sex, he can have it there he can pay for beautiful sexy ladies for that. But it's not that. Wala naman daw sya mapapala saken, baket kelangan pang maglokohan. He's just on point and right about that. He just love me.

Oh well. I don't know why I was too paranoid of the idea losing him, well in fact I don't even have the littlest right to call him mine. I can never have him. He's someone's man. But he loves me and I love him. I should be fine with that. No buts, no what ifs.. Just trust the love that we have for each other..